WWN Event Guide

DUBLIN

A new protest is calling for attendance from the so-called sinister fringe. If you would like to tell the Government what you really think, make sure to be down at Pearse Street Garda station this Saturday at 10am. The organisers are at pains to stress they are in no way affiliated with the handsome, charismatic and talented Minister for the Environment, Alan Kelly.

WATERFORD

It’s back! One of the most popular dates on the Waterford calendar has finally arrived. This year’s prize is €10,000 and it’s free entry yet again. The Erotic Balloon Animal Championships is calling on all individuals with a talent for folding balloons in the shape of animals have a good go of each other. The most erotic will be crowned the champion. This Friday from 6pm on the quays.

CORK

The country’s first Neo-Neo-Nazi march is set to take place this Sunday. Participation is free, but be warned, we’re not sure if Neo-Neo means they’re really super racist or that they are really super anti-Nazis. We admit, we haven’t done our research on this one. Make sure to stay safe if you go.

WATERFORD

Paddy Browne’s pub continues to bring the very best in live music. Ticket are €8 online and €10 at the door. This week sees The Rolling Stones support One Direction. Management has denied claims that it is the same 5 lads dressing up as both bands and that you don’t have to ‘squint like a mad yoke’ to make them look like the real bands.

NATIONWIDE

This weekend is of course the annual ‘sweeping things under the carpet’ weekend. The Government asks anyone with any information or knowledge of truly horrific crimes to sweep them under the carpet to save us all the hassle of an investigation, inquiry and pay out. In smaller communities, local are asked to ignore ‘that dodgy fella’ and pretend like it’s not only a matter of time before he does something completely unconscionable to someone you know.