Lynx Release New ‘Silage’ Body Spray For Single Farmers

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LEADING deodorant maker Lynx has announced their very first foray into the original Irish fragrance market with a new scent entitled ‘Silage’ aimed at the prominent single farmers market.

Lynx has been a mainstay of Irish men’s armpits for years, despite controversies surrounding some of their best loved fragrances. Famously Irish men boycotted the popular ‘Africa’ scent after discovering it smelled nothing like the expansive and ecologically diverse continent.

However, Lynx are back in Irish affections after launching ‘Silage’, an odour which essentially recreates the smell of silage in an effort to give some single farmers the smell they most crave.

“Outside of their profession, farmers are actually some of the nicest smelling individuals in Ireland, especially when compared to other professions,” explained Lynx’s chief smellologist Andrew Carmody, “the average IFSC worker smells of deep regret and emptiness which surprisingly enough is actually quite pungent”.

Farmers have welcomed the new addition to the shelves with yet more interest coming from other men who grew up on or near Irish farms.

“The women will deny it, but they love the smell. It gives them a touch of the wild, of the unknown. I’m not saying they love it, but that silage gets some awful sexy notions in their heads,” explained single farmer and soon to be avid Silage sprayer Daniel Tynan.

Daniel’s observations are backed up by recent research conducted by Lynx, which indicate the smell of silage is often associated by women with thoughts of big houses, strapping fellas and a bit of land.

“It may seem a step backwards for some,” smellologist Carmody added, “but what we have here is a new fragrance which really resonates emotionally with a lot of people and we’re proud of that”.

Reports that a Super Valu in Mayo chose to abandon and burn down its entire shop after a leak from a Lynx Silage can cause a foul smell in aisle three are at this point unconfirmed.

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Posted by Waterford Whispers News on Thursday, 14 February 2019
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