Coffee Shops To Outnumber People By 2025

WITH the number of coffee shops in the country currently just under two million, experts are now predicting that figure will double by 2025.

A recent study found there is one coffee shop opening up every 17 minutes in Ireland alone.

“There are more coffee shops now than pubs,” said head researcher of the research, Patrick Moore. “There needs to be some kind of regulation introduced before the whole country turns into one big hippie coffee commune.”

In Waterford city alone, there are over 400 coffee shops – that’s one every 30 feet.

“C’mere boi, the town is broke and yet there’s still people drinking three euro cups of coffee like there’s no tomarra!” said local businessman George White, with two sugars. “Sure, all it does is make ya shit and give you the heebie jeebies – anxiety in a cup is all it tis!”

The coffee industry is worth over 67 billion euros to the Irish economy, making it one of the most sought after start-ups in the country. However, economists have warned of a possible ‘Coffee Bubble’, that may burst if not dealt with appropriately.

Speaking to WWN earlier, economist David Harrington admitted that a coffee crunch may be on the cards: “To be honest, I really hope it does collapse for my sake. Since the economy started picking up again, no one wants to listen to my doom and gloom stories anymore. It has to stop. What goes up, must go down.”

“Before, a coffee shop was somewhere in Amsterdam you went for a spliff, now its the new altar for the church of assholes,” he concluded.