TD Phil Hogan Among None Arrested For Wasting €50mn On Irish Water Consultancy Fees

THERE was no 7am call to TD Phil Hogan’s address this morning in connection with the misappropriation of tax payer’s money to fund Irish Waters €50mn consultancy fees, despite that figure expecting to rise again to €85mn by the end of this year.

Six Gardaí were believed to have remained stationed at their post as a further €81,000 was siphoned from the country’s bank balance to pay the company’s weekly legal fee to a top Dublin law firm – who probably have no connections to anyone of importance in government at’ll at’ll.

On top of that, not one person has been held for questioning as a further €490m – meant for local services – was diverted into Irish Water’s contracted meter company, Siteserv, which is part-owned by the ever flawless businessman Denis O’Brien.

Instead, Hogan, the €250,000 per year European Commissioner for Agriculture, sipped coffee in his continental apartment relishing in the news from home that local TD, and anti-water charges campaigner, Paul Murphy, was arrested for a peaceful protest in Jobstown along with three other individuals.

“Ha ha ha ha. The Jobstown four!” he scoffed.

“To be honest, my money would have been on Bertie Aherne being the next TD to be arrested,” he chuckled to himself. “C‘est la vie”.