Government To Outline Series Of Irresponsible Tax Cuts To Secure Your Vote For Next Election

SPECULATION from several sources suggest the coalition is set to make a series of empty promises during its ‘spring statement’ in which it will outline several tax reforms solely designed to secure votes for the next election.

Abolition of the universal social charge has been mooted and could leave a €1 billion euro hole in revenue from the taxpayer, but it is not thought the Government would stop there in its attempt to tempt voters into sticking with them.

“I’ve heard they’re going to cut income tax to minus 12%,” confirmed a spokesman for Fianna Fáil, “you quite literally can’t say you’re going to hand the public 12% extra on top of what they earn instead of asking them to make their contribution. Blatant electioneering”.

Minister for Finance Michael Noonan remained tight lipped about the potential spring statement, but admitted free money was a possibility.

“Could the taxpayer find money lying on the ground outside their house with a note saying ‘from the Government, cheers’ provided they vote for us in the next election? Well, anything is possible in life at the end of the day,” the minister said with a smile.

“Seriously though, tell us what you want us to say to get your vote and we’ll definitely say it, we might not do it but we’ll say it alright,” he added.

The Government’s reelection plan is set to blatantly appeal to voters’ bank balances and despite learning the hard lesson that you can’t believe any party’s promises in the past, a large percentage of the voting public will confirm their intention to vote with the Government.