Tiny Christmas Tree On Desk Doing Fuck All For Office Worker’s Spirits

A DUBLIN man currently working in an office block has admitted that the little Christmas tree he put up at his desk is currently doing sweet fuck all to improve his Christmas spirit.

John McCoomb, 25, has worked at McAllister & Greenway Accountants for the past 2 years, where he has become an entirely replaceable member of the Data Entry team.

Hoping to inject a bit of festive cheer into the workplace, bosses at McAllister & Greenway have this year allowed staff to decorate their workspace, and McCoomb was initially delighted to set about the task of “Christmassing up the kip”.

However, a week after putting up a tenner’s worth of Euro Shop decorations around his workstation, the disillusioned son of two has admitted to co-workers that he still hates every fucking second he spends within the four walls of his workplace.

“It added a bit of cheer to the place, for a day or so,” mused McCoomb, while eating a purple snack on his little break.

“But in the end, the drudge of working in this shithole just eroded any sort of festive cheer I was feeling. Once the batteries ran out on my wee tree and it stopped lighting up, I felt like throwing it in the bin”.

Compounding his Christmas malaise, McCoomb went on to express his hatred of the decorations on his co-workers desks.

“Caitlin three desks across has this fucking Santy that sings Jingle Bells when you walk past it,” sobbed the data jockey.

“If it goes off one more time, then I swear to Christ you’ll be reading about me on the news”.

McCoomb’s Christmas woes are set to continue later today, when head office break the news that Christmas bonuses for the department have been cancelled, for no apparent reason.