Waterford Man’s First Grey Pubic Hair Is Nothing To Panic About

WATERFORD MAN John Fitzgibbon was rushed to the emergency room of Waterford Regional Hospital by himself earlier this morning.

The father of six had innocently been showering at 7am before glancing down at his pubic hair only to discover a single, terrifying grey hair.

Such was the shock and panic that overcame John he slipped in the shower, injuring his back. Not wanting to waste another single second of his life without a proper diagnosis John drove to the hospital in a fit of blind panic, reaching speeds of over 100 kph.

Spending much of the car journey muttering ‘what the fuck is this? What the fuck is this?’ over and over again in a mantra-like fashion, John understood he was no psychological expert but also confirmed that this incident would cause him untold psychological damage.

Upon entering the A&E John quickly made note of several awaiting patients who were bleeding profusely from head wounds and made a judgement call, confirming their ailments were not as serious as his.

Still naked from the shower John quickly gained the attention of security and nursing staff by yelling ‘what the fuck is this?’ while motioning to his crotch and more specifically the terrifying, lone grey pubic hair. A nurse quickly ushered him out of the A&E and into a room, where John spent an agonising 20 minutes awaiting examination.

Despite John’s protests, the attending Doctor refused to ‘take a sample to do science stuff on it’, instead pointing out to John that it was entirely normal for a man of his age to freak out at the discovery his body is slowly aging on him behind his back.