Woman With All Her Christmas Shopping Done To Spend November Being A Smug Bitch

A KILKENNY woman is set to spend November pissing off her friends and co-workers having completed all her Christmas shopping since before Halloween.

Mairead McGrath, a 27-year-old assistant in a local Cake Shop, will spend the remaining six weeks until Christmas being unbearably smug to both customers and co-workers, implying that they must not be as organised as she is and that they need to hurry up and not leave everything to the last minute.

“It’s great to have everything done, you know?” said McGrath, for the thirtieth time that day. “It just means you can relax over the Christmas, you know, you don’t have to be running around the shops getting walked on by everyone. If you just buy a few things here and there over the year, like I do, then you’ll be able to chill out more and enjoy yourself”.

In an effort to let everyone know how great she is for having all her shopping done, Ms. McGrath is to spend the next six weeks constantly asking customers if they “are all set for Christmas?”, in an effort to start a conversation which she can oar herself into.

“I even have all the Santa Claus things taken care of”, the mother of two told WWN. “I got my girls to write their letters in March, so I could buy the things in the sale at the Summer. And I got bath sets and things like that in Boots when they went on sale last January, and just put them in the attic for the year”.

“If you plan it right, you can have all your Christmas shopping done by the end of February and just relax and enjoy yourself, like I do, which is the right way to do things, because it’s the way I do them”.

Co-workers of Ms. McGrath in the busy bakery have agreed to let her waffle on as much as she likes, and are currently doing their best to just tune her out until January.