Local Lad Carrying Pallet Down The Street Definitely Not Going To Bonfire Site

A LOCAL lad carrying a wooden pallet down the street is definitely not going to a bonfire site, he revealed earlier today.

Jimpsey Whelan, of 348 Clonard Park Ballybeg, told Gardaí who stopped him that he was just collecting the wood to “make something”, and that he wouldn’t dream of contributing to any suspected bonfire in the area as it was now illegal and not in the best interests of health and safety.

“Ah jaysis no!” replied the 19-year-old social when asked why he was dragging the heavily constructed wooden frame towards a well-known field gate. “I’m making something out of wood and I figured this way would be a shorter to get home. I’m making a…. am..a….a cart! Yes. I’m making a go cart.”

With his address completely in the opposite direction, Gardaí began quizzing the youth on his logic, pointing out that he may be best going in the general direction of his house first if he wanted to get there quicker.

“Yeah, but it’s easier to slide the pallet on the grass than the pavement.” he pointed out matter of factly. “This way would be way quicker, and I wouldn’t be making so much noise dragging it along the concrete, annoying people.”

Apparently happy with Mr. Whelan’s explanation, Gardaí offered to give him, and his ‘work material’, a lift to his house which was situated over 2 miles away.

“No, no, no. I couldn’t put ye out like that. I know ye’re probably busy dealing with all that crime stuff,” insisted Whelan, who by now was joined by another young lad wheeling several old car tires.

“Look, there’s my friend now with the wheels of my cart. Maybe we’ll just leave the stuff here and come back with the tools later.” he half asked the Gardaí who were giving him a side-to-side ‘no’ gesture with their over-weight heads.

“I can’t wait to have a spin in my cart when it’s done,” he added, now dropping the pallet onto the ditch. “Yeah, That’s what we’ll do. We’ll leave everything here and come back later on to build it. No point in dragging it all that way. Thanks for your help Guards.”

Leaving their “materials” behind for later, both youths made their way home, checking back with a glance to see if the Gardaí would leave the scene – no such luck.