Luas Bell To Be Replaced With Voice Yelling “Get The Fuck Out Of The Way”

A SPOKESPERSON for the Dublin Transportation Office has announced new measures to cut down on the amount of collisions between Luas trams and members of the public, with the introduction of a new system to warn people to ‘Get the fuck out of the way’.

The recording will replace the more familiar ‘ding ding ding’ bell currently in use, as Luas drivers have repeatedly reported that pedestrians, motorists and cyclists fail to heed the warnings of an oncoming tram causing potentially serious injury or death.

The move comes following the release of driver-cam footage of motorists and cyclists blatantly disobeying stop signals and racing across the tram tracks, at times barely missing the oncoming tram. With claims that the bell warning is too dainty or just not threatening enough, the DTO claim they had no choice but to replace it with something that people might pay attention to.

“People hear the bell and pass no remarks about it,” said Ambrose Bermingham, spokesperson for the DTO. “So we had no other option than to get more aggressive.

“The ‘ding ding’ sound was designed to be a polite way to warn people of oncoming danger, but seeing as how they don’t respond to it, we feel a voice yelling ‘Get the fuck out of the way’ will better help to get people the fuck out of the way”.

With the system set to be in place by early next year, Luas staff are currently voting on who they would like as the voice that yells, with Liam Neeson and Twink reported to be front-runners.