“Almost The Weekend,” Says Chirpy Coworker Who Lives Alone With Her Cats

IMPOSSIBLY chirpy coworker Laura Andrews is busy making her way around the office trying to spread some ‘thank God it’s Friday’ cheer by enthusiastically declaring “almost the weekend” despite knowing full well she will spend the weekend alone with her cats.

While living along with your cats no longer carries the stigma it once did, constantly alerting people to the glorious possibilities the weekend can hold despite never embracing those benefits yourself is still frowned upon.

“I’m fairly certain that woman will be watching the X-Factor with her cats so not sure why she’s so fucking happy,” observed Michael Kelly, desk neighbour to Laura at Grogan Consultants, who in contrast to Laura recognised the futility of remaining positive in the face of life slowing grinding you down.

Laura continued on her quest to alert everyone to the reality that Saturday and Sunday come directly after Friday, traditionally the last day in a working week, much to the annoyance of her coworkers.

“God, it just doesn’t get better than the weekend, does it? Now all that’s left is to plan it all out,” Laura gleefully said despite already acknowledging to herself the highlight of her weekend might possibly be choosing to eat Kellog’s Frosties for dinner.

Mitsy, Snuffles and Norman, Laura’s cats, will play a key part in Laura’s fantastic weekend as they are set to pose in a number of highly amusing photos while wearing cute clothes, bought by Laura at great expense on her credit card.

Several coworkers thought long and hard about telling Laura to shut that smiley head of hers up as they had a strong suspicion that her life was not worthy of building up this level excitement ahead of the weekend.

Laura is set to spend the remainder of the working day, skipping and whistling around the office, occasionally becoming distracted by cat videos on the internet.