Phil Hogan Perfect Cunt For The Job, Finds Europe

MEMBERS of the EU parliament today were left in awe of Irish commissioner designate Phil Hogan’s performance during a three hour question and answers debate with MEPs.

In a vote this afternoon, the majority of the panel voted in favour of the Kilkenny politician’s confirmation.

“I’ve met some massive cunts in action in my time, but this guy has topped them all,” said Stewart Agnew of UKIP. “He’ll be perfect for the job and has got my vote. He’s like an Irish Farage. Such poise and downright arrogance. He’ going to go far in Europe.”

Some 33 members voted in favour of his candidacy, while 10 said they were opposed. Mr. Hogan later said he was “truly honoured” to be selected as Europe’s new Commissioner for Agriculture and Rural Affairs and vowed to annihilate those who voted against him.

“Big Daddy is in town and heads are going to roll,” said Hogan speaking to WWN. “They threw everything they had at me this morning and I stood up to the mark like a boss. Who’s going to challenge me now, huh? Who’s gonna dare challenge big Phil? I’ll wipe the floor with any politician that stands in my way. Did you see what I did to that little shit Carthy, did ya? T’was like shooting a newborn baby in a barrel”.

Attempts by Sinn Fein’s Matt Carthy  and Independent MEP Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan to raise a series of controversies proved unsuccessful as Mr Hogan dismissed all criticism of his performance as Environment Minister.

“Two fools don’t make a right,” added the newly appointed Commissioner. “We’ll see how Flanagan likes it when I cut funds to Roscommon. I’d say he’ll be getting the train to Holland after today. Sure, it’s only up the road for him.”