7 Out Of 10 Irish Women ‘Can’t Even’

A NEW report published today had confirmed a long held suspicion of many young people in Ireland. As the modern landscape of society keeps evolving toward being fully dominated by lists of things, inspiring stories and cute animal videos as many as 7 out of 10 Irish women ‘can’t even’.

‘Can’t even’ is the scientific name given to the phenomenon whereby people, most often women, are rendered incapacitated by an event or personal experience.

This troubling psychological state is usually brought on by a number of commonly available things such as hangovers, an excessively large takeaway, a breathtaking performance on a TV talent show by a homeless supermodel, a picture of an attractive man or having to get up off the couch.[MBBS-Recommended-Content]”When one is in a state of ‘can’t even’ it is not that you lose the will to live but that part of the brain that fuels free agency and action simply doesn’t operate correctly,” explained Professor Hans Fosserman, publisher of the report.

Fosserman traced the origins of ‘can’t even’ and noticed that year on year the incidents which triggered the reaction became less and less serious.

“For example the first recorded instance of can’t even occurred during WWII when a Jewish girl witnessed the deaths of over 30,000 people, today however people’s trigger are less severe. Just last week a girl from Dublin found she couldn’t even when she sat down only to realise she had left the cup of tea she made in the kitchen,” added Fosserman.

While a cure for ‘can’t even’ is still years away, those 7 out of every 10 women are urged to search for the positives which will allow them to gain perspective and, to use the technical term applied – try to ‘even’.