School Bully Can’t Wait To Go Home And Learn Some New Techniques From His Dad

SENIOR infants pupil Darren Reagan made lasting impressions with the weaker natured members of his class again today after successfully terrorising the group for the fifth consecutive day in a row.

The 6-year-old returned from his Summer holiday’s following a two month course in physical and emotional abuse, proudly lectured by his unemployed father, John, who in turn refuses to work due to receiving “better money on the dole”.

During his home-schooling, Darren, who regularly wets the bed, picked up on several threatening words and phrases regularly used to implement fear on him, his brother and mother Theresa.

“Shut up you stupid, ugly cunt,” he regurgitated to fellow pupil Aishling Kennedy, who since last year has been too afraid to tell anybody about his ongoing threats. “That’s my fucking seat, so get up”.

Realising the power of the vulgar language, Darren also began experimenting with some physical techniques, maneuvers daddy performs on mammy most Monday nights when his eyes are red.

“The post office man gives daddy money to become strong and mean every Monday, It’s the only time he smiles at anyone.” he once told his teacher, who ignored the comments completely. “Someday I’m gonna big, just like him and play pool in the pub”.

The son of two spent most of his PE day today tripping classmates and pushing “the brown faced kid” in the back, a signature move his older brother Martin performs on him daily.

“I can’t wait to go home and learn some more tricks,” he thought to himself. “I just hope daddy isn’t mad again like last night. I don’t like when he makes Marty cry for not cleaning the fire. Daddy is a good fighter though. He shows me boxing sometimes when his mouth smells funny”.