10 Things Every Irish Dad Does
AS part of WWN’s groundbreaking HerDailyEnterJoement series, we bring you the latest in essential lists which provide you, our readers, with a reason to live. This time we’re tackling the classic Irish Dad, who, try as he might, can’t help but commit these classic dad moments that will leave every Irish person in no doubt that he is, like, totally an Irish Dad.
1. Years of undermining your efforts through snide and belittling comments thus forcing a wedge between you and your Irish Dad which is irreparable. Try as you might to repress it, you will tell him exactly how worthless it made you feel as you deliver his graveyard eulogy. Classic Irish Dad.
2. You knew your dad was an absolute Irish Dad of the highest order when he confronted Billy Cummings, your under-10 GAA coach after your match against Ballyfinn Gaels. Is there any way an Irish Dad can show his love other than by breaking a grown man’s nose and cheek bone because he took you off the pitch at half time?
3. We’ve all been there. It’s mammy’s good old Sunday roast and classic Irish Dad that he is, someone is running a bit late from his affair with his mistress and completely misses dinner. Lol! How many times did he have to heat up that dinner, you’ve probably lost count at this stage.
4. Summers at the beach, you can’t beat them. Almost every Irish family has taken to a mobile home to partake in the quintessential Irish holiday. But, it would not be complete if your dad didn’t neglect basic safety advice by ignoring you wading deeper and deeper into the ocean. You could have drowned, but vintage Irish Dad behaviour meant he didn’t see you rescued by a passerby as he was too busy eying up the college students in their bikinis. Memories for life.
5. Any Irish Dad worth his salt would regularly take you to the pub on Tuesday nights to ‘get you out of the house’. After close to ten pints, your dad races through the back roads breaking the speed limit to get you home just before your mammy gives out and then, out of nowhere a pedestrian slams into the windscreen, dying upon impact. ‘It’s our little secret’, he says. Could he be any more of an Irish Dad if he tried?
6. You can’t wait to start final year back in college, but someone, one Irish Dad, poorly invested that SSIA money once it matured and now can’t afford to pay your fees or your accommodation up in Dublin. You have to drop out and remember, it’s your fault because you ‘know the price of everything and the value of nothing’. Classic Irish Dad behaviour alert!
7. Something everyone can remember fondly. You’ve just completed your first holy communion and you’ve got that money from friends and family safely placed in a jar in your room, but your dad, true to Irish Dad form, needs it for Therese, who is after getting herself pregnant and he certainly doesn’t have ‘boat money’, whatever that is, lying around.
8. You’re woken up in the middle of the night by your older brother John, whose face is black and blue, he tells you he’s ‘getting out of this hell hole, leaving that monster’ and that you should do the same once you’re old enough to stand up to Irish Dad. You never see your brother again, and to be honest, you’re not even sure what this has to do with dad at all really.
9. Christmas is cancelled because someone is after throwing his bonus away in the bookies. Irish Dad much?
10. ‘You’ll never amount to anything, you’re no child of mine’ typical Irish Dad inspirational speeches always brought a tear to your eyes.