Average Cost Of School Uniform Now €10,000

A RECENT education cost survey carried out by Barnardos reveals that despite the cost of putting a child through school becoming ever so slightly less expensive, many families are still struggling to provide for their children.

WWN has learned of one Waterford school, which has seen the price of uniforms increase significantly ahead of the upcoming school year.

“We understand it’s hard for parents, but honestly, this one-off bespoke uniform by Prada is exceptionally good value,” shared primary school teacher Donal Hanratty.

The Prada pupil range will cost as little as €10,000, serving as further illustration that the average cost of putting a child through free education is as affordable as ever.

“Obviously, people will say ‘oh, I’ll buy a cheap knock off that’s the same colour’ to which I would normally say ‘no you fucking won’t’, our deal with Prada is exclusive and I’d hate to witness the bullying a child would be subjected to were he or she to avoid buying from the Prada collection,” concluded Hanratty before admitting the majority of the bullying would come from himself.

“I understand some parents go without food just so their children can have an education but they will know it’s worth when they see their little ones with their custom Prada umbrellas”.

The St. Killian’s principal denied the rumours that the price of the uniforms were raised in order to distract parents from the fact that several completely useless teachers are still working in the school despite having the same love for teaching as they do for Chinese water torture.

“That is utter nonsense,” retorted Hanratty, “Mr. Phelan was only drunk on 4 school trips last year, that is a dramatic reduction on previous years, we’re very happy with his contribution”.

For information on where to purchase St. Killian’s exclusive Prada pupil range visit http://www.barnardos.ie/