Dublin UFC Fans Treated To 154 Bonus Fights On Way Home

IRISH Ultimate Fighting enthusiasts who attended the Fight Night 46 event in Dublin on Saturday night were treated to over 150 extra bouts as they made their way home from the O2 arena.

Fans who thought their night was over following the main event, which saw local fighter “The Notorious” Conor McGregor easily beat opponent Diego Brandao in four minutes, were surprised to find dozens of fights waiting for them on O’Connell Street, some of which they would actually participate in.

The post-match card began with the long-awaited culmination of a twenty second rivalry between syringe-weight Ian “Iano” Talbot and an un-named Brazilian tourist at the Abbey Street Luas stop, with Talbot emerging victorious following his patented face-bite attack. This was followed by a traditional six-on-two intergender brawl at an ATM, notable for its blatant disregard for strict MMA guidelines and overuse of the phrase ‘oylmorrrrdorya’.

As Guardians of the Moral Peace patiently waited for Joe Duffy’s phone-line to open on Monday morning, crowds in O’Connell Street were being treated to dozens of ill-matched pairings under the blind eye of several nonplussed members of An Garda Siochana. Many fans were themselves encouraged to take part in the fights, as some of the city’s most violent repeat offenders organised impromptu bouts with people as they waited for taxis on Ireland’s biggest open air Octagon.

“We both had a great time at the UFC,” said Alan Irwin, speaking about the night he had with his 12-year-old son. “But then to see so many extra fights on our way home, well, that was unexpected. And to actually participate in one? Well, that was something I’ll never forget. I was there with my boy, waiting on the last bus home when none other than Anto “The Fucking Toerag” Burke approached and laid into me with no provocation at all”.

“I tried my best to protect myself and my young son, but this is against a man who has 47 previous convictions for GBH. He easily got the better of me and eventually I succumbed to his Stanley blade to the face submission move, and had the wallet out. Luckily the cops were on the scene within the hour and helped point me towards the nearest A&E”.

Although MMA fans will have to wait and see when McGregor will bring some much-needed national pride to these shores again, O’Connell Street and the surrounding areas will be offering brawls on a nightly basis, along with free assessments of your race and sexual orientation