Waterford Man Struggling To Give A Shit About Friends Exam Results

A COUNTY Waterford man said today he was struggling to give a shit about his Facebook friends’ recent exam results posts earlier.

Mark Power told Waterford Whispers News that he couldn’t care less about anyone’s results, and urged his student friends not to even bother mentioning their educational progress on-line anymore, as it came across as ‘self-praising’.

“They might as well say they took a dump in the toilet for all I care.” he said. “Results me fucking hole boi!”

Several of Mr. Power’s mature student friends took to the social network to inform the world of their achievement, much to the disgust of the 34-year-old.

“Like, seriously, they only went to college cause the dole crowd were on their backs.” he explained. “All this means now is that they will be emigrating on time!”

“Cunts are milking it anyway. The government pays them to go to college; they can even work as many hours as they want to on the side.”

However, not every student passed their exams today, forcing many to stay another year in Ireland to repeat their failed subjects.

“I see a few of them are very quiet.” pointed out Power. “Not a fucking peep out of them now after all their studying shit. Last year it was all ‘look how fucking smart I am’. I’ll be making it my business to post the question on their Facebook wall ‘So, how did ya get on?’

It is estimated that 1 in every 2 unemployed adults in Ireland are doing some kind of course, conveniently halving the live register figures.