Temple Bar At 2.30am Fails To Make Lonely Planet Guide List

DUBLINERS are said to be frustrated that respected tourist bible, Lonely Planet, has failed to include nightlife hotspot and tourist magnet Temple Bar in its list of Europe’s Top 50 “undiscovered and overlooked sports”.

“We’ve worked very hard at trying to make the list, and Temple Bar at 2.30am has charm, character and an unrivalled amount of danger, we’re sad to see it go unrewarded, it’s a real shock” shared Ger Shannon, a Temple Bar advocate and drunken fight enthusiast.

Temple Bar while universally loved by residents of the city has had its critics in the media and elsewhere in recent years, prompting many Dubliners to try to promote a positive version of the area.

“Kerry got a spot on the list? Fucking joke that Lonely Planet is, fucking joke” shared resident homeless man Adam Givens in between walking into different changing rooms in Urban Outfitters for a lie down.

“At last count, random assaults of tourists have been reduced by minus 500 this year, which is a real testament to the experience the area offers,” shared president of the Temple Bar Fight Club Frank Roche.

A number of proposed measures have been given the green light in recent months to improve Temple Bar’s standing with visitors.

“Well, obviously failing to make the top 50 in Lonely Planet is a wake up call and we have some great changes coming through,” explained Lord Mayor of Dublin Oisín Quinn.

The installation of foam chairs, paving, walls and buildings will ensure limited injury for revellers. As well as Temple Bar being made entirely out of foam, locals are trying to attract leading sociologists who will pay large fees to observe the 2.30am madness from the safety of a reinforced steel ‘viewing deck’.

Should drinkers get too rowdy at the 2.30am mark a dedicated team of council workers will be able to build a ‘drunk tank’ around individuals in under 10 seconds thanks to recent training carried out in America.