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Emergency Services Called After Kim Kardashian Becomes Wedged In Ailwee Caves

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THE honeymoon of rap mogul Kanye West and reality TV star Kim Kardashian got off to a sticky start this morning, after emergency services were called to the Ailwee Caves in County Clare to help free the new bride after she became hopelessly trapped between two stalagmites.

Located in the heart of the Burren, the popular tourist attraction was high on Kanyes to-do list during their five day stay in Ireland, and the couple headed there early this morning following an arrival at Cork airport yesterday. However, during their guided tour of the limestone caverns Mrs. West (nee Kardashian) found herself posterially wedged and unable to continue, and with attempts by onsite staff to free her proving unsuccessful the emergency services were sent for.

“It was an honour to show the Wests around our caves. Kanye is an avid spelunker, and was as excited as a child to get to explore the geology and structure of the Ailwee network. “, said Burren Tourism chief Adrian O’Meara.

“Mrs.West seemed happy to indulge her husband, but as we neared the end of the tour she began to cry for help having become utterly stuck after misjudging the width of a passageway. Most people utilise the ‘cats whiskers’ method when exploring caves, whereby if a persons shoulders fit through a gap, the rest should too. Mrs. West is a lady whose proportions are the exception to this rule, and she found herself in a lot of bother”.

Pupils from St. Benedicts primary school in Roscommon were on a class outing at the time and became trapped behind the star as attempts to free her by Burren safety staff and an E! Network camera crew only exacerbated the tightness of the wedging.

After a fruitless hour of pushing officials made the call to a local unit of the fire brigade to help free the mother of one using specialist equipment, and within fifteen minutes the scene was attended by every fireman in a tri-county area.

An hour later the glamorous couple emerged from the darkness in a somewhat shaken state, and heaped praise on the emergency services for their thoroughness.

They were whisked away in a Mercedes Limousine to enjoy the rest of their honeymoon, although have cancelled plans to visit the Newgrange Monument in Meath and the Sally Gap in Wicklow.

 

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