Election Canvassers Vow To Ignore “No Junk Mail” Stickers

Political canvassers for the upcoming Local and European elections have issued a promise to deliver pamphlets and literature through the letterboxes of every house in Ireland, regardless of “No Junk Mail” stickers.

Spokespersons from all parties have issued statements confirming that their door-to-door campaigners can both see the letterplate stickers and have the intellectual capacity to read and understand the anti-pamphlet messages. However, they are choosing to flat out ignore them and deliver their literature anyway.

“We’re committed to deliver Election Candidate Information to 100% of households” said Fianna Fáil Campaign Manager Richard Head.

“We know the other parties are doing it, so we don’t want to be the only ones that respect the wishes of the electorate. We were issuing statements that we did not regard our pamphlets to actually be junk mail, in the chipper menu/ used clothing appeal sense of the phrase, but now we’re admitting that we just don’t care”.

Irked by the constant stream of unsolicited political manifestos on their doormats every evening, some homeowners have tried to rephrase their Junk Mail stickers in an effort to deter canvassers.

“We had a ‘No Junk Mail’ sticker on the door, but it did no good” said Leitrim man Ian Gorman, speaking exclusively to WWN.

“When we kept getting leaflet after leaflet, I went out with a black marker and changed it to ‘No Junk Mail, This Includes Political Material’, but still no joy. I changed it again this morning to ‘Stick your campaign leaflets up your hole’, so we’ll have to see if that works”.