Ukraine ‘All Better Now’ As Warring Factions Split Gas And Oil Profits Amongst Themselves

UKRAINE is “all better” today after a surprise deal was met by the US,EU and Russia over gas and oil profits which run directly through the gateway state.

The announcement comes just weeks after civil unrest ousted the country’s premiere Viktor Yanukovich from office in a media fueled standoff between pro-European and pro-Russian sympathisers.

It is understood the deal laid out by the warring factions was “pretty damn sweet indeed”, making everyone around the table talks smile broadly with their filthy mouths.

Ukrainians caught in the middle of the corporate run battle welcomed the move, which was later sold as a political agreement between several countries who have absolutely nothing to do with them.

“It is great a deal over the welfare of our beautiful nation was reached.” said a very naive Ukrainian man, with little or no understanding of how the world works.

“Hopefully we can join the great European nation and benefit from all she has to offer.” added the complete fool.

Meanwhile, Venezuela looks nice this time of year.