The public disquiet over the newly announced deal involving Sky Sports and the GAA is set to intensify following eye witness reports suggesting leading figures within the GAA have been seen carrying around 30 pieces of silver.
“It’s nothing short of a fucking disgrace,” said protester Eamon Flannery outside Croke Park before he ripped his shirt from his body. When pressed on his decision to disrobe he shouted loudly at this WWN reporter.
“I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’m just so angry,” Flannery is believed to have said while running around in circles. GAA president Liam O’Neill was quick to dispel rumours that the main motivation for striking a deal with Sky to show 20 live games a year was money.
“Jaysus, they came in with the cash and thrun it up on top of the table. Looked fecking class. They let me play in it as well and everything,” admitted the GAA president, “but as I said money is not a motivator, here look at it – I took a picture of it on the phone. Great big pile of lovely sterling!”
While many with a lifelong involvement in Gaelic games are understandably perturbed by the sale of GAA rights to Sky, the filthy British broadcaster has denied claims they are seeking a number of rule changes.
“It is nonsense to suggest we want players to wear body armour or the introduction of a sliotar-cam. We can’t stress enough our love for the Irish football hurling game. We will only ask for changes to the format when we feel we’ve got our foot fully in the door,” shared Sky Sports executive Charles Ignatius Pennyfeather III, a direct descendant of Oliver Cromwell.
“For the time being what Paddy wants, Paddy gets,” added executive and Earl of Oxford while adjusting his monocle.
Mickey Nolan, minor coach for Ballybricket GAA, typified the mood amongst die hard GAA lovers. “I’d sooner have a black lad ride me daughter than the Brits come over here and pillage our game and our heart.”
“We’ll have the boys diving like fecking fairies now and pretending to head butt each other. You bloody well head butt your man in GAA or you go home!” said Nolan, the Sky Digital Sales Manager for Munster.
Shortly after the Sky announcement the GAA confirmed the majority of kick offs this year would take place at 10pm and the long-awaited transfer window between counties would open a few weeks before the beginning of the championships.
Rumours that Queen will be given the honour of taking part in the throw-in at the final of both codes continues to be denied by all parties.
Your local parish was unavailable for comment when called by WWN…