Pubs Still Reeking of Fags 10 Years After Smoking Ban

TEN YEARS after Ireland became the first nation to completely ban smoking in the workplace, a new survey shows that most pubs still stink of cigarettes.

It is believed that the smell is being artificially maintained by landlords in an effort to keep their premises ‘authentic’.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been ten years since the smoking ban was implemented” said Irish Vintners Association spokesperson Drew Porter. “At the time no-one believed that such a thing could be implemented, but here we are, smoke-free to this day.

“Although there was an uncomfortable settling period, the vast majority of consumers today are fine with the law. But the one thing that both proprietor and customer alike agreed on was the loss of that genuine pub smell; that unmistakable mixture of pints and cigarette smoke, mixed with farts and the slightest hint of crisps”

Porter went on to describe the lengths that barmen are going to in their efforts to acidify the air in their establishments.

“Well, some pubs don’t need any extra help” explained Porter. “Some pubs are 100 years old, and people have smoked in them all day, every day except Christmas and Good Friday. So you can spray all the Febreze, you want, but those places will always stink of fags”.

Mr Porter explained pubs that have opened in the last ten years need a lot more help to avoid smelling like the clinical soulless McPubs they are.

“In accordance to the smoking ban nobody is allowed to smoke on the premise during working hours, so most barmen will leave cigarettes burning in ashtrays overnight in a bid to ad that desired atmosphere. Larger establishments get through several packs a night.

“It’s worth it when your customers come in the next day; you can see their faces change when that pub smell hits them… it relaxes them, they unwind, and then they drink their faces off all day”.