Irish Man To Spend Entire Day Masturbating To Pornsites In Celebration Of Internets 25th Birthday

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NATIONAL UNIVERSITY of Ireland student Kenneth Hackett has pledged to spend the entire day masturbating to various different pornsites in celebration of the Internets 25th birthday today.

Mr. Hackett told fellow classmates that he will begin his wankfest shortly after 10am, before continuing right on into the lunchtime period. There he is expected to take a quick five minute break before hammering back into himself for another 4-5 hours.

Supporters of the self confessed chronic masturbator told WWN the 24-year-old has been known to pull himself off or days on end, without the aid of food or water.

“Ken’s a class A wanker.” said roommate Derek Jones. “When I moved in with him at first it was quite disgusting, but after a while I realised he had perfected wanking into an art form, and you have to admire his dedication to the whole thing. He’s forever practising.”

Kenneth estimates he will ejaculate over 1,000 times today, breaking his previous personal record of 623.

“I’m going full hog today.” he explained to our Galway correspondent earlier. “It’s all about keeping it well oiled so as not to create friction. After my last record I was admitted to hospital for internal bleeding.”

The great grandson of eight said he is a huge fan of the Internet and believed that masturbating for the day was a great way to celebrate the world wide webs silver jubilee.

“It’s either do this or look at pictures of cats for the day.” he added. “Sure ya can’t wank off to cats! Can you?”

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