John Waters Takes Leave Of Absence To Concentrate On Not Being Homophobic

A number of reports emanating from rival publications indicate prominent columnist John Waters is to take a leave of absence from his position at the Irish Times.

While no reason has been given for the leave of absence many believe it is just the latest fallout from the ‘pantigate’ affair which saw damages paid out to Mr. Waters, Breda O’Brien and the Iona ‘Institute’ following an appearance by Rory O’Neill on the Saturday Night Show.

WWN spoke to several sources close to Mr. Waters and the Irish Times in order to better understand the reasons behind the columnist’s decision.

“John’s had a tough time of it lately, what with all the rampant heterophobia he’s experienced and I think he just wanted to take a step back and enjoy not being homophobic,” a close friend of Mr. Waters told WWN.

“Some people are happy to express their not-homophobic views in public, but occasionally you come under fire for it, much in the same way someone who isn’t racist would and it has taken a mighty toll,” the friend concluded.

Speaking off the record an Irish Times staff member shed some light on the situation. “John took a battering from the ‘fringe lunatics’ and with John’s obvious follicle limitations, he doesn’t stand a chance.”

Many in the media speculate that Irish society is becoming so hostile to anti-anti-not-homophobic views that soon the idea of holding a view on anything that promotes the objection to the promotion of the limitation of any grouping of humans will have you labelled correctly and accordingly.

It is not yet known when Mr. Waters will return to his post, but what is clear is that after his batteries are recharged the journalist will come back even more resolute in his not-homophobic views than ever before.