Sweets To Stay As Irish Supermarkets Ban Fat Kids From Checkout Areas

SUPERMARKETS across the country have agreed to ban overweight children from checkout areas, instead of unhealthy treats.

The move comes just days after food safety and nutrition experts called for a total ban on sweets from the queuing lanes.

“Why should we lose out because of fat little Fiachra or fat little Saoirse’s eating habits,” said James Scully, chairman of Musgrave’s. “If parents of chubby kids can’t say no, then we will just have to do it for them.”

The ban will take effect from next week in all Musgrave owned businesses across the country, and will see a 5X6 meter fat-kid-exclusion-zone at the mouth of every checkout. Children will be weighed on site. The overweight will be asked to wait in a specially designated seating area at the rear of the store, while parents deal with their grocery purchases.

“We are going to install a row of chairs in every store for their fat arses to sit on.”explained Scully. “And parents should have nothing to fear as there will be partitions between each seat so they can’t eat each other.”

Martin Higgins, Chief Executive of Safe Food, Ireland, said they have spoken with the multibillion euro Musgrave group last week, and are happy with their new proposals to ban fat kids from checkouts.

“Its a bold move,” said Higgins. “But if it helps fight the childhood obesity epidemic in Ireland then we are all for it.”

Thousands of other businesses across the country are expected to follow suit, and with the rate of obesity rising – it hasn’t come soon enough. According to really credible surveys carried out by people with no ulterior motives, almost every child in Ireland is now currently obese.