Human Carnivores Outraged After Captive Giraffe Is Fed To Animal Carnivores

HUMAN CARNIVORES are said to be outraged today after an 18-month-old giraffe was put down and fed to their animal counterparts in a Copenhagen zoo on Sunday.

Marius, a healthy male who had all its captive life in front of him, was shot down by keepers with a bolt gun, chopped up and fed to Lions at the zoo in front of an audience that included hungry children, despite a campaign to save him.

“He looked so meaty when he was being dissected.” said one eyewitness, who had to run to the nearest fast-food outlet for food after the event. “They lopped off his succulent leg and teased the crowd with his innards. No wonder people are angry – he could have fed everyone standing here at the time!”

Marius’s plight triggered a wave of online protests among people who regularly eat other animals, including cows, pigs and sometimes horses.

“This is absolutely outrageous,” said one protester carrying a ‘down with this sort of thing’ banner outside the zoo this morning. “Why on earth would they kill an animal and feed it to another animal as food? This kind of thing is unheard of.”

Copenhagen Zoo said Marius was slightly inbred and due to EU laws they were urged not to let him procreate.

“Although a two headed giraffe would be beneficial to the zoo, it would be morally wrong to exploit that kind of thing for our own financial gain.” Bengt Holst, scientific director at the zoo, told WWN. “Marius is in a better place now. He’s probably roaming around in the great big safari in the sky.

“Hopefully there are no lions up there. That would suck.” he added.

Holst said some of the meat from the giraffe would be used for research and the rest for yummy food.