Anglo Board Liked To Drown Kittens In A Bucket During Meetings, Trial Told

THE trial of three former Anglo executives has heard that up to ten kittens would be ritually drowned in a bucket of water before important board meetings, in what defendants say was a bid to ‘boost moral’ at the bank’s main headquarters.

Counsel for the defence played down the act as a ‘team-bonding’ exercise, and ruled out any animal cruelty accusations brought up by the prosecution – as the kittens were already property of the bank at the time of their death.

“In article 22.89 of the constitution; property of the bank may be destroyed by banking board members upon approval by the chairman of the board at the time.” said counsel for Seán Fitzpatrick Michael O’Higgins. ” This property includes all documents, equipment and pets listed as bank property. No prosecution can be made into destroying such properties.”

A witness from a local pet-shop confirmed that she, on several occasions, was asked by members of the bank to deliver ‘a basket of kittens’ to the Anglo Irish offices in Dublin. She denied, however knowing the exact fate of the animals once purchased.

“I would never have sold the kittens if I knew what they were doing to them,” said the slightly over-sensitive woman, who was crying uncontrollably like a child. “Why on earth would they do that? What is wrong with these people?”

It was estimated by prosecution counsel Úna Ní Raifeartaigh that over four hundred animals, including one Ostrich, were sacrificed before board meetings between 2002 and 2008.

The defence acknowledged the blatant disregard for life at the bank, but stated the cruel practice was essential in putting board members in the right’ mindset’ for banking.

“The world of banking is a cruel and heartless business,” explained O’Higgins. “In order to reach their goals and targets, these brave men had to do horrific things to both humans and animals alike. It goes with the territory.

“And may I just add to the court, these men are not on trial here for drowning kittens.” he added.

Judge Nolan agreed to retract all references to the cat sleighing and urged the prosecution to take a different line of questioning.