County Footballer Runs Out Of Local Women To Have Sex With

WWN has learnt of the sad plight currently being endured by a prominent inter-county footballer.

The Dublin footballer, whose identity is not yet known, is believed to be struggling under the weight of having slept with pretty much every single woman in his local community.

A source close to the footballer spoke exclusively to WWN about this worrying development. “He’s had the pick of the girls, you know, since he’s been kicking a ball, but those waters have been well and truly fished. There’s nothing left for him and it’s affecting his game.”

It is believed that following Dublin’s loss to DCU recently in the O’Brien Cup the unnamed player suffered the indignity of having to initiate conversation with some women in Coppers this past weekend.

“It is getting to him alright, he’s used to being lionised and that, but the loss coupled with sleeping with everyone has meant he’s contemplating emigrating,” the source shockingly revealed to WWN.

It is believed a number of GAA players have emigrated in the hope of finding some Irish women they have yet to have a sexual encounter with.

“Some lads have set up GAA clubs abroad as a sort of calling card. It’s like a covert personals ad in the paper, a subtle way of attracting new women to their social circle,” explained one former player now living in Australia.
The Dublin player’s local club are believed to be doing everything in their power to make the player reconsider his move abroad.

“The selectors have asked him to watch the women’s minor team play just to see the talent coming through, but I think his mind is made up” a teammate told WWN.

“The few weeks after the All-Ireland were fairly intense, having to employ a ticketed system for the female fans but that’s all died away. It’s really quite sad when you think about it,” concluded the source.

More to follow as we get it…