Man In Turmoil After Girlfriend Takes Dump In Front Of Him, Indicating Future Marriage And Babies

A COUNTY Waterford man was said to be in complete and utter turmoil earlier after his long-time partner took her first dump in front of him, hinting at a possible future marriage proposal and babies.

Colin Keegan (28) was going to work this morning when he noticed girlfriend Martha Sheehan sitting on the toilet bowl with the bathroom door wide open.

The self confessed ‘free-spirit’ told WWN that it came as a bit of a shock to him after he finally realised what the gesture meant.

“I was absolutely gobsmacked when I seen her just squatting there. Not a fucking bother on her boy!”

“She was just plopping away and talking about what she’ll cook for dinner later.”

Mr. Keegan admitted it took him several minutes to ‘cop’ what was going on.

“It dawned on me in the kitchen – she wants to take this to the next level!”

“My tea went down the wrong way and nearly choked there and then.”

Friends say the couple met over a year ago and moved into an apartment in January.

One source close to the man said Ms. Sheehan has been thinking about settling down for quite some time and has been ‘dropping’ hints for the last two months.

“She certainly dropped a few hints this morning alright” he joked.

In a confidential statement to his best friend earlier, Mr. Keegan said that he is ‘not sure yet’ if he is ready for this sort of commitment, and now thinks that moving in with the lac was probably a very bad idea.

The friend advised Keegan to get the hell out of the relationship as soon as possible and to start working out again as he has turned into a fat bastard since ‘settling down’.

Colin Keegan announced he will make a decision on the relationship later, after a few pints with the lads in town.