‘Sweden Ate Green Players like kettle In Wavin Pipes Please’ Admits Trapattoni

REPUBLIC OF IRELAND football manager Giovanni Trapattoni admitted at a press conference in Dublin today that ‘Sweden ate green players like kettle in wavin pipes please’.

The revelation came shortly after lunch time while, during a 30-minute speech, the 74-year-old confirmed that the Swedish side beat Ireland  last Friday, bringing the  curtain down on yet another World Cup dream.

Language experts believe Trapattoni’s strong post-match comments indicated that he believed the players were like some form of inanimate food to the opposition.

When asked what he thought of the teams previous performances in the World cup qualifiers, he replied: ‘Fast elephants run inside oil refineries all day long. Very good. Nice legs. Biscuits.’

It wouldn’t be a stretch to suggest he was questioning the Irish teams strong defence but poor striking ability while defending his decision to bring new players to the game, stating that the younger generations role was to flash really nice legs while eating biscuits after the game. Maybe.

“Mama mia mama mia let me go. Thunderbolts of lightening. Very Frightening.”  he added.

Critics claim Trap’s abstract English may have had a big part to play in the uncertainty of the Irish teams performance last Friday.

One fan said: ‘Sure who knows what he’s bleedin’ saying. It’s like listening to a Furby on crack or something!’

Ireland against Sweden by two goals to one.