SINCE the first case back in the early 80’s – during the last great recession – researchers have been concerned about the development of children born to women who liked to have the bit of craic during their pregnancy.
The first recorded ‘craic baby’ was born in county Waterford in June 1980. Researchers at the time focused on the potential negative impacts of ‘having the craic’ while carrying an unborn child. However, as they accumulated more information, many concluded that babies who were born into this were 20 times more likely to have some craic in later life.
By 1985, the ‘craic baby’ epidemic had already swept across the Irish nation, leaving thousands of children strung out and wanting more from their lives. It wasn’t until the early to mid 90’s that it became obvious that their craic loving mothers had drastically affected their lives forever.
Experts predicted that craic babies would suffer from severe, irreversible damage, including a propensity to use drugs and alcohol as a source of nutrition. They were right. Suddenly raves and illegal after hour parties became common place in Ireland’s towns and villages and a new meaning to the word ‘session’ was slowly seeping into the vains of our already tainted nation.
“It was mahem! Sure everyone started having the craic! No one realised (or cared for that matter) what they were doing to themselves or each other. The craic was mighty altogether.” said researcher Dr. Kevin Ryan of the government sponsored Craic Research Team based in Trinity college Dublin.
“We followed 200 craic-exposed and 200 non-exposed children and their parents from birth until the child turned 18. By that age, 164 of the craic-exposed children just went out on the piss every night with their friends while 36 were either dead or in a mental institution. A massive 198 non-exposed children out of the 200 spent most of their free time studying. 78% of them wanted to work as a secondary school teacher, 10% wanted to work in accountancy and the remainding 12% wanted a career in the Navy.”
Dr. Ryan also stated that parental craic exposure was directly related to the children’s developmental outcome. However, children in non-craic care, especially those in the care of people who were living a fit and healthy lifestyle, had better environments than those cared for by their craic loving parents and performed better in several developmental areas.
These results suggest that many of the negative outcomes observed in ‘children born of the craic’ may result from the parents tendency to go out and have a good time during pregnancy.
Dr. Ryan added “With this new period of recession, we can be sure to see this trend repeat itself. It will be just like the eighties all over again, but only this time, the craic will be 90….or naughty, or what ever the hell they call this decade.”