Chinese Space Programme Launches Probe To Ascertain If Intelligent Life Still Exits In America

China, working jointly with Europe and Russia,  launched its first ever probe to ascertain if Intelligent life still exits on America today, after a three-year delay, state media reported on yesterday.

IQ1 was due to blast off in 2008 from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan but the launch was postponed due to funding and an array of technical issues.

The €132m probe is the first of its kind to be launched by China. Tracking reports from IQ-1 showed the satellite had entered an orbit with a perigee of 100 kilometers and an apogee of 34,017 kilometers.

IQ-1, the first ever attempt to search for intelligent life on America, is the most advanced orbiting satellite China has launched, according to Chinese scientists.

Proposed by 74 countries in 2003, the IQ-1 probe will stay in a stationary orbit over the North American continent and track it’s inhabitants for twelve months.

Other reports said the orbiter will also probe the American television stations and study what happened to the intelligence that appears to have once been abundant in the early part of the 20th century.

“We believe there is a direct link between American television and the decay in intelligence of its inhabitants.” said head of operations of the programme, Chung How Ming.

“If there is indeed intelligent life left down there, we will move forward and launch a manned mission to America late next year.” he added.

The IQ-1 probe will intermittently scramble television satellite stations over the twelve month period and analyse the impact it has on the American physci.

The probe will target FOX News television and various other news corporations across the continent. It has been reported that numerous day time television chat shows will also be blocked.

“Oprah, Doctors, Ellen, Ricki Lake and other such mind numbing programmes will be affected intermittently over the course of the 12 month mission.” said How Ming.

“If we find there is hope for the American race, we will move forward quickly and launch the second phase of the project – a 14 man probe named IQ-50+.

“This is expected to land on American soil in November next year.” he added.