A RECENTLY engaged couple have said they are fooling absolutely everybody with their latest barrage of ‘Lovey Dovey’ Facebook wall posts, a source close to the pair has revealed today.
David Ward and Laura Woods explained to long time friend Patricia Delaney how they were ‘pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes’ by posting ridiculous messages of love and admiration to each other for the whole world to see.
“I was shocked to find out they were not the happy loving couple they made themselves out to be on Facebook.” said Ms. Delaney (33).
“They would write such nice things on each others wall like: ‘My Laura is the best girlfriend in the world. She made me my favourite dinner ever. I love you pet.’
“Laura even wrote one time: ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you David. You rock my world so much xxxx’
“I remember one Sunday morning David posted: ‘stay in bed pet, I’m making breakfast for ya and I’m going to bring it up to ya with a single red rose.’
“I was so jealous of their perfect little lives at the time. I even burped a little bit of sick into my mouth when reading it.
“I mean, when you do read that kind of stuff you would never ever expect it to be so far from the truth like it is. Would you?
“They certainly fooled everybody, including me.” she added.
The couple got engaged on the 15th of June this year and have since been finding it more and more difficult to maintain a happy existence with each other.
Mr. Ward moved into his partners apartment soon after the engagement and it wasn’t long before cracks began to show in the 5-year relationship.
Delaney stated: “At the dinner party yesterday they broke down and told the truth behind the words.”
“They said they would constantly fight over stupid things and verbally abuse each other nearly every day.
“They were even bickering at the table.
“They later said they only found comfort when pretending to be a flawless couple on Facebook.
“Laura said it completed her knowing that everyone was thinking how great things were between them. She even called all her friends ‘fools’ for believing ‘the shit love posts’.
“It was like they thrived on the idea.”
In a statement to WWN the couple said they would continue their charade for as long as it takes and promised some ‘juicy Hallmark type love phrases’ in the coming year.
If you have Facebook couple friends who write cringey love wall posts to each other for everyone else to see please contact us here at:wedontgiveaflyingfuckaboutyourpatheticfakeassrelationshipcrap@WWN.com